ARLO 2-Camera Wireless Security System

Set this up so you can find out who keeps breaking in to your house and hiding the remote!

You buy a security system because you don't want to use it. Then you let it sit there, as visibly as possible, so nobody ever gets near. Really you hope you're wasting! your money! But if you ever really need it, you'll be happy it's there. Or just use it to make a nature documentary about the spiders in your gutters. That'll work too.

HP ProBook x360 11" Conv w/Active Pen

How active is the Active Pen? On a scale of Richard Simmons to Jane Fonda, this Active Pen is a solid 7.

This is a ProBook, so you know this laptop is a professional. It wears business attire 24/7. It drinks coffee for breakfast lunch and dinner. It nods along in meetings and says "Let's have a follow-up on this issue in two weeks." It keeps its desk clean and tidy. It returns phone calls promptly. It has a nice firm handshake. This laptop is a professional laptop.

The Debunker: Was Epicurus an Epicurean Kind of Guy?

March has come in like a lion, and I hope that you're just as excited as I am to celebrate March 25, the Greek holiday that marks their 1821 war for independence from the Turks. Opa! "Greece" is the word! In honor of Greek independence, Ken Jennings from Jeopardy! is here all month to correct a lot of Greek mythology—things we thought we knew about the ancient land that gave us democracy, logic, and nude wrestling. It turns out a lot of this Socratic wisdom is all Greek to us.

The Debunker: Was Epicurus an Epicurean Kind of Guy?

Epicurus founded his own school of philosophy in Athens around 300 BC: the Garden, named for its pleasant outdoor setting. It drew hundreds of adherents—including women and slaves—who studied with Epicurus during the last thirty years of his life. He's an important figure in the history of science for insisting that belief be backed up by logical deduction, but today he's mostly remembered for lending his name to the word "epicurean." An epicurean, the dictionary tells us, is a sybarite, someone devoted to sensual pleasures.

The Debunker

Now, it's true that the gate to the Garden of Epicurus was indeed inscribed with his motto, "Stranger, here you will do well to tarry; here our highest good is pleasure." The Epicureans may have said that "pleasure" was the greatest good in life, but that's a little misleading: Epicureanism isn't just unchecked hedonism. In fact, unchecked hedonism is pretty much the opposite of what Epicurus taught his followers.

Epicurus taught his followers to strive for ataraxia, a state of inner tranquility brought by contentment with simple things and the absence of pain. That's a very specific (and, today, unpopular) definition of pleasure. "When we say, then, that pleasure is the end and the aim, we do not mean the pleasures of the prodigal or the pleasures of sensuality," Epicurus wrote. "By pleasure we mean the absence of pain in the body and trouble in the soul. It is not an unbroken succession of drinking bouts and of revelry, not sexual lust . . . It is rather sober reasoning." In other words, a serious-minded philosopher trading ideas with friends in his garden is experiencing true pleasure in a way no one ever could at a banquet or orgy. Maybe Epicurus wasn't the fun-loving guy he gets caricatured as, but I like the cut of his jib.

Quick Quiz: What has been the focus of the website "Epicurious" since it launched in 1995?

Ken Jennings is the author of eleven books, most recently his Junior Genius Guides, Because I Said So!, and Maphead. He's also the proud owner of an underwhelming Bag o' Crap. Follow him at or on Twitter as @KenJennings.

Black + Decker SMARTECH Hand Vac

Oh, no! That thing we had here sold out ! So out of our desperate attempt to be rich love for giving you options, we've added a bonus sale for today. Consider it a gift to us from your wallet to all of you who were hoping for something like this. This is your chance to help us look good to our bosses get a little something for yourself, okay? Thank you You're welcome.

TRX Travel System

Real strength comes from the inside.

We're not talking about your strength of character. We're talking about muscles inside your body. Strength comes from those. Go ahead and be a good person if you want. Think about how your actions affect others. That's all great. But also be an actual strong person with big muscles, because then you can smash stuff, and that's a lot more fun than going around doing the right thing all the time.

Lullabi Window Panels, Your Choice

Extreme blackouts- just like college!

But unlike college, you'll feel great in the morning when you sleep through this blackout. You won't find any strange house guests asleep on your floor. You won't have to clean up any weird stains on the kitchen table. Your recycling bin will not be overflowing with a strange green glowing goo. Yes, this will be a great change from the blackouts of your youth...